4.5 KiB
act4
h: Sigh.
h: You were right.
h: I was being an idiot, my so-called friends were using me, and we almost fucking died.
// h: I was being an idiot, my so-called friends were using me, and I almost jumped off a fucking roof.
Yeah, not to mention the hospital bill.
// Not to mention the damage you did to your liver.
Yeah, that was the worst-case scenario.
Yeah, I was right.
act4a_bill
h: Right. I don't think my health insurance covers "being a dumbass".
b: And it doesn't cover "literally being dead"! Which we could've been!
(#act4b)
act4a_liver
b: We definitely shaved a few years off our life expectancy...
b: But... at least we still have a life expectancy!
(#act4b)
act4a_worst
b: And yet...
h: Hm?
b: ...and yet, we survived.
(#act4b)
act4a_right
b: But... you were right, too.
h: Hm?
b: I was the wolf who cried wolf. I kept barking at nothing, so when actual danger came, you didn't believe me.
b: The worst possible danger did, in fact, happen.
h: ...
b: ...
b: And yet, we survived!
(#act4b)
act4b
b: That could have gone so much worse! But it didn't. We're still here.
// b: We were this close to actually dying! But we didn't. We're still here.
h: We're still here.
b: And we don't have to fight.
(...5000)
b: I'm not a Big Bad Wolf. But I'm not a guard-wolf either.
b: I'm a battered shelter dog.
b: We've been through some rough stuff in life, so that's why whenever I sense the slightest danger I over-react and go--
b: YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP
b: But I don't want to be a cowardly dog! I want to protect you! I want to be a good dog!
b: Human... will you help tame me?
h: I...
h: ...don't know how.
h: But we can fake it until we make it.
h: Okay. So, I'd like to have a healthy relationship with my negative emotions... and healthy relationships need good communication. So, let's communicate.
h: Dear inner wolf... how are you feeling?
n: YOUR TOTAL FEARS USED:
n: //info
n: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT FIRST? (YOU CAN TALK ABOUT THE OTHERS LATER)
I'm scared we'll be harmed.
I'm scared we'll be alone.
I'm scared we're bad people.
act4_harm
// b: news story, fire exit, serial killer, sedentary, w/e
b: ...God, there's so many dangerous things in the world!
// b: I dunno, what do you think, human?
You're right. So how can we better defend ourselves?
I'm not so sure. Let's try small experiments?
Thank you.
act4_harm_skills
b: Well... I do have claws & fangs, but I'm just a metaphor for the fight-flight circuit in your brain.
h: We could take a self-defense class? Try improving our general health? Learn to better assert our boundaries of what we feel safe with?
b: Maybe, but...
Where do we even start?
What if they still don't work?
What if we go overboard on "safety"?
act4_harm_skills_start
b: There's so much to do, so much we need to fix about ourselves. What do we even begin with?
h: We're beginning right now.
b: Eh?
h: I mean, we're practicing good communication right now. And if that works, we can detect danger better with fewer false positives... and does help protect us from harm!
h: This is self-defense training.
b: Huh. I was expecting more of this:
(HI YAAAA)
h: Heh.
act4_harm_skills_work
h: True, there's no way to 100% protect ourselves...
h: But even a 1% improvement is still worth something, right?
b: You're seeing the glass as not 99% empty, but 1% full.
h: Which is still worth something if you're stranded in the desert.
b: Heh. Bottoms up, then.
act4_harm_skills_overboard
b: I mean, the whole reason you ignored my warnings earlier was because I went overboard with safety!
b: I am your fear, and now I fear fear itself!
h: Naw, you're right, that's a good point. We have to also do safety in moderation. Everything in moderation.
b: Sorry, EVERYTHING in moderation?
h: A moderate number of things in moderation.
b: Thank you for making your statements recursively self-consistent.
act4_harm_experiments
act4_harm_thanks
act4_alone
// callbacks
b: Will we be loved? Can we be loved?
b: I dunno, what do you think, human?
// Again, back to you, human. What do you think?
// Thoughts, human?
I agree that I'd like to work on our social skills.
I think we're lovable. Let's experiment to find out?
Thank you.
act4_bad
// callbacks
// RETROACTIVE: intrusive thoughts?
b: God, are we just broken?
I don't think so. But let's check that with experiments?
Yes. So how can we start to repair ourselves?
Thank you.