anxiety/scenes/act4.md

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act4

SceneSetup.act4();

(...5001)

publish("outside-hong", ["walk"])

(...2001)

publish("outside-hong", ["eat"])

(...2001)

publish("act4-out-1");

(...2001)

Game.FORCE_CANT_SKIP = false;

h: sigh

h: So what the hell was the moral of this story?

h: What did we even learn? I was being stupid, my "friends" were using me, and we almost fucking died.

{{if _.INJURED}}
Yeah, not to mention the hospital bill.
{{/if}}

{{if !_.INJURED}}
Yeah, not to mention the liver damage.
{{/if}}

Yeah, that was the worst-case scenario.

Yeah, I was right.

act4a_bill

h: Right. I don't think my insurance plan covers "being a dumbass".

b: And yet... we survived!

h: ?

(#act4b)

act4a_liver

b: We definitely shaved a few years off our life expectancy...

b: But at least we still have a life expectancy! We survived!

(#act4b)

act4a_worst

b: And yet...

h: Hm?

b: We survived!

(#act4b)

act4a_right

b: But... you were right, too.

h: Hm?

b: I was the wolf who cried wolf. So when actual danger came, you justifiably didn't believe me.

b: And yet, we survived!

(#act4b)

act4b

b: Despite everything, we're still here.

{{if _.INJURED}}
h: You seem pretty calm considering we just had a near-death experience.
{{/if}}

{{if !_.INJURED}}
h: You seem pretty calm considering we just had a near-near-death experience.
{{/if}}

b: Well, it makes everything else less scary in comparison. It's also got me thinking.

b: If me fighting you sucks...

h: But me fighting you also sucks...

b: Because no matter who wins, we both lose, so maybe...

h: Maybe we don't have to fight.

Game.FORCE_CANT_SKIP = true;

publish("smash",[0]);

(...2001)

publish("smash",[1]);
sfx("grass_step1");

(...2001)

publish("smash",[2]);

(...501)

Game.FORCE_CANT_SKIP = false;

(#act4b_2)

act4b_2

music('dontfight',{fade:5, volume:0.6})

b: I'm not a Big Bad Wolf. But I'm not a guard-wolf either.

b: I'm a battered shelter dog.

b: We've been through rough stuff, possibly trauma, so that's why sometimes I over-react and go--

sfx("yaps", {volume:0.6});

b: YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP

b: But I don't want to be a cowardly dog! I want to protect you! I want to be a good dog!

b: Human... will you help tame this wolf?

h: I... I'll try.

h: Okay. Healthy relationship with emotions. Relationships need communication. So, let's communicate.

h: The next five minutes are going to sound super cheesy, but let's fake it 'til we make it.

h: Dear inner wolf... how are you feeling?

n2: TOTAL FEARS USED:

n2: HARMED {{.attack_harm_total}}, UNLOVED {{.attack_alone_total}}, BAD PERSON {{_.attack_bad_total}}

n2: WHAT FEAR DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT FIRST? (YOU CAN DO THE OTHERS LATER)

_.a4_fears_discussed = 0;
_.num_thanks = 0;

I'm scared we'll be harmed.

I'm scared we'll be alone.

I'm scared we're bad people.

act4_harm

_.a4_talked_about_harm = true;
_.a4_fears_discussed += 1;

//b: (insert callbacks to harm-fears you used)

b: I want to protect your need for physical safety,

b: But, gosh, there's so many dangerous things in the world!

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==1}}
b: I dunno, what do you think, human?
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==2}}
b: Again, back to you, human. What do you think?
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==3}}
b: More thoughts, human?
{{/if}}

Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_SPEAKER = "h"

You're right. So let's protect ourselves.

Let's expose ourselves to more danger.

Thank you. _.thanks_for = "physical safety";

act4_harm_skills

b: But... how? I have fangs and claws, but I'm just a metaphor.

h: We could pick up self-defense? Improve our general health? Learn to better assert our boundaries?

b: Maybe, but...

Where do we even start?

What if they still don't work?

What if we go overboard on "safety"?

act4_harm_skills_start

b: There's so much to do, so much we need to fix about ourselves. What do we even begin with?

h: We're beginning right now.

b: Eh?

h: I mean, we're practicing good communication right now. Which will help us detect danger better, with fewer false positives,

h: And that will help protect us from harm!

h: Therefore: tis is self-defense training.

b: Huh. I was expecting more of this:

b: (insert karate chop pose)

h: Heh.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_harm_skills_work

h: True, there's no way to 100% protect ourselves...

h: But even a 1% improvement is still worth something, right?

b: You're seeing the glass as not 99% empty, but 1% full?

h: Which is still worth something if you're stranded in the desert!

b: Heh. Bottoms up, then.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_harm_skills_overboard

b: I mean, the whole reason you ignored my warnings was because I went overboard with safety!

h: Naw, you're right. We would want to do safety in moderation. Everything in moderation.

b: Sorry, EVERYTHING in moderation?

h: A moderate number of things in moderation.

b: Thank you for making your statements recursively self-consistent.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_harm_exposure

b: WHAT

h: I mean, let's say a dog is scared of thunder.

h: One trick trainers use is to play a recording of thunder at a low volume, then give the dog a treat for staying calm.

h: Over several days, the trainer raises the volume bit by bit, until the dog has overcome their fear of thunder.

h: It's called exposure therapy!

h: Since you're a dog, it should work for you too, right? All mammals have the same fight-or-flight response.

What if we desensitize ourselves too much?

What if we expose ourselves to real danger?

I'm a wolf, not a dog.

act4_harm_exposure_dog

h: And I'll show you kindness and patience 'til you're domesticated into a cute lil' puppy.

b: ...

b: D'aw.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_harm_exposure_overboard

b: We just saw what happens if you shut down your fear you put yourself in actually dangerous situations.

b: Besides, won't too much desensitization turn us into psychopaths?

b: Soon we'll give ourselves treats while watching snuff murder porn!

h: I... think there's a line between that and the thunder.

b: But exactly where, human? Where?!

h: I don't know. But you can help me!

h: Working and negotiating with you, we'll draw that line.

b: Okay. But I've got no opposable thumbs, so you have to do the drawing.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_harm_exposure_hurt

{{if _.INJURED}}
b: For example: we jumped off a freaking roof!
{{/if}}

{{if !_.INJURED}}
b: For example: we almost jumped off a freaking roof!
{{/if}}

h: Nah you're right. One can go too far.

h: But that's why, if we do exposure therapy, we'll start small, and make small steps upward.

h: Just before we hit actual danger, we stop.

b: Yeah I draw the line between hearing loud thunder, and standing in a storm with a tall pointy hat.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_thanks

_.num_thanks += 1

{{if _.num_thanks==1}}
(#act4_thanks_1)
{{/if}}

{{if _.num_thanks==2}}
(#act4_thanks_2)
{{/if}}

{{if _.num_thanks==3}}
(#act4_thanks_3)
{{/if}}

act4_thanks_1

b: ...

b: Wait, no arguments for or against what I'm feeling? Just... "thank you"?

h: Yeah! Thank you for showing your concern for my {{_.thanks_for}}.

b: ...

h: You okay?

b: You've never said thank you to me before.

h: Aw you big fuzzy-wuzzy panic-wolf.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_thanks_2

h: Even if you over-react, I appreciate you look out for my {{_.thanks_for}}.

b: Wait... you're not just repeating "thank you" to avoid actually talking about these fears, are you?

h: Well, stuff's complicated, and I don't always have answers ready.

h: It's not like life gives you a list of 3 pre-made dialogue responses.

h: But for now, at least I can at least say thanks.

b: Well, thank you too, for listening to me patiently.

b: You small hairless flesh-mammal.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_thanks_3

h: Even if your yapping scares me, you're simply trying to protect my {{_.thanks_for}}.

b: Okay, if you keep flattering me like this, the internet's gonna get some weird ideas about us.

h: C'mon, I'm just a vulnerable college-age kid and you're a big, scary wolf. What's the worst that cou--

h: Actually, do not answer that.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_alone

_.a4_talked_about_alone = true;
_.a4_fears_discussed += 1;

//b: (insert callbacks to alone-fears you used)

b: I want to make sure you get your social needs met, the human need to belong...

b: But, I worry: will we ever be loved? Can we ever be loved?

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==1}}
b: I dunno, what do you think, human?
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==2}}
b: Again, back to you, human. What do you think?
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==3}}
b: More thoughts, human?
{{/if}}

Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_SPEAKER = "h"

I agree I'd like to work on our social life.

I think people like us. Let's find out?

Thank you. _.thanks_for = "social belonging";

act4_alone_skills

h: We could practice skills like starting conversations, sharing interests, asking, listening, empathizing, etc?

h: Or make better social habits, like scheduling hangouts with friends or regularly going to meetups?

h: Could also learn to get more comfortable with rejection.

h: Or learn to know when people aren't rejecting us, they're just tired or have Resting Bitch Face.

b: That's a lot of options, but...

Isn't learning to be friendly manipulative?

Won't being friendly make us easier to manipulate?

What if we try to get better, and still fail?

act4_alone_skills_manipulative

b: Aren't serial killers who can read their victims' emotions great at "empathy"?

b: Didn't Charles Manson win friends and influence people?

h: No, you're right.

h: "Social skills" mean nothing if we don't genuinely care for people.

h: Basically, just don't be a dick.

b: That's a motivational poster caption right there.

h: “Don't Be A Dick”

(#act4_something_else)

act4_alone_skills_manipulated

b: We'll become a Welcome doormat, saying Please and Thank You as people wipe their feet on us!

b: We'll kiss so much butt, it'll look like we're wearing brown lipstick!

h: Nah, you're right. "Social skills" can't be just about pleasing others, it's also got to be about setting boundaries.

h: We can't invite others into our home, if we have no walls to hold up a home.

h: Also... that lipstick mental image... ew??

(#act4_something_else)

act4_alone_skills_fail

h: We might fail. Actually, we will fail.

h: And that's fine! Failing is how anyone learns anything new at first!

h: So let's fail our way forward together, yeah?

b: Sure... worst-case scenario we can just skip town and get a fake identity.

b: I think that only costs two bitcoins these days.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_alone_experiment

h: We could try some experiments!

h: We could ping a friend to hang out, reconnect with an old pal, or even just chat with a barista.

h: I think we may find we're more likable than we suspect.

What if these experiments fail?

What if these are small, cheap "wins"?

What if this is a burden to others?

act4_alone_experiment_fail

b: What if our results are non-significant (p>0.05) and no journal will publish our null findings?

h: You're right, it could fail! That's good! It's not a real experiment if it couldn't.

h: And if we learn that we are awkward or inconsiderate, then let's improve our social skills.

h: Like starting conversations, sharing interests, listening, empathizing, asking questions...

b: ...all that stuff those counselors told us but then we forgot.

h: Yup.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_alone_experiment_cheap

b: Saying "hi" to the barista isn't exactly gold-medal performance in the Social Butterfly Olympics.

h: It is for us!

h: In the social arena, we're not even featherweight class, we're like... quark-weight.

h: If we have to start with small, cheap wins, so be it. Gotta climb the 1st step before the 1000th step.

b: Yeah! Maybe after saying "hi", we can advance to saying... "How are you?"

h: "Not much!"

(#act4_something_else)

act4_alone_experiment_burden

b: Maybe the barista just wants to make some dang coffee, not be an experiment to see if our social skills suck.

h: Well, if it turns out we are being a burden...

h: That's good to know, too!

h: We can then learn how to pro-actively ask people what they're comfortable with, to know and respect others' boundaries.

h: Y'know, all that "inter-personal skills" crap we see in counselor brochures.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_bad

_.a4_talked_about_bad = true;
_.a4_fears_discussed += 1;

//b: (insert callbacks to bad-fears you used)

b: I want to defend your moral needs, that drive to become a better person,

b: But it just feels like we're so... broken.

{{if _.INJURED}}
b: And don't tell me we're not messed up. We jumped off a roof.
{{/if}}

{{if !_.INJURED}}
b: And don't tell me we're not messed up. We almost jumped off a roof.
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==1}}
b: I dunno, what do you think, human?
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==2}}
b: Again, back to you, human. What do you think?
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==3}}
b: More thoughts, human?
{{/if}}

Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_SPEAKER = "h"

So we're broken. Let's fix us.

So we're broken. Let's accept it.

Thank you. _.thanks_for = "moral well-being";

act4_bad_fix

h: We could slowly build better habits, get our life more in line with what we value,

h: And if needed, we could get professional help a therapist or counsellor.

h: There's ways to fix us.

What if we can't fix it all?

What if we fix too much?

We can't afford professional help.

act4_bad_fix_cant

h: Nah, I guess you're right.

h: We can't fix it all.

b: Ahhh I knew it we'll always be broken!

h: But we can at least be less broken.

h: Scars heal with time, but they never go away. And that's okay.

b: I guess.

b: Besides, scars are sexy.

h: Please do not do that.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_bad_fix_too_much

b: This feels sick to admit, but... some part of me wants to have this disorder.

b: I mean, without it, won't we be boring?

b: Without the disorder, won't our art become stale and bland?

b: Without the disorder, won't we be unable to connect with our pals who have the disorder?

b: If we're content with life, will we stop driving ourselves to do great things?

h: ...

h: If we even have a fear of "running out of fears",

h: I don't think we're gonna run out of fears.

b: Oh, yeah! Whew! What a relief!

(#act4_something_else)

act4_bad_fix_afford

b: "Doc, I'm anxious that I'm paying $100/hr just to hear you say how does that make you feel?"

b: "Mm-hmm. And how does that make you feel?"

h: Nah, that's a totally reasonable worry.

h: And it genuinely sucks that mental healthcare isn't affordable for lots of folks.

h: Still, there are some cheap or free options:

h: Support groups, online therapy, student/non-profit health centers...

h: Picking up a free meditation habit, watching videos on evidence-based mental health...

h: Borrowing a library book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or Acceptance & Commitment Therapy...

h: There's a full list of resources at the end of this game!

b: Well that fourth wall didn't last long.

h: Mental well-being is more important than some measly narrative convention.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_bad_accept

h: I mean, that's what therapists say right? Accept all your emotions, even the negative ones?

b: Wait.

"Accept" as in give up?

"Accept" as in approve?

"Accept" as in take literally?

act4_bad_accept_give_up

b: Do you think Martin Luther King would've said, "Shucks we can't sit in the front of the bus, let's just accept it?"

b: Why does the Self-Help Industrial Complex think waving the white flag is some profound wisdom?

h: I think therapists mean "accept" bad things as in: acknowledging they exist and are hard to change,

h: But not necessarily giving up a commitment to change.

b: Then therapists should say acknowledge, not accept.

h: Yeah come to think of it, "accept" is kinda confusing.

b: Well, I acknowledge that.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_bad_accept_approve

b: Like it's good that we're broken or something? No!

b: All those dang Hollywood screenwriters who romanticize mental illness are full of crud!

b: Having a mental disorder sucks! It robs people of lives! Why should we "accept" that?!

h: I think therapists mean "accept" our emotions as in: be patient with them.

h: Like how struggling in quicksand makes you sink faster, and the solution is to patiently lie flat,

{{if _.INJURED}}
h: Fighting against you, my fear, lead me to jump off a roof.
{{/if}}

{{if !_.INJURED}}
h: Fighting against you, my fear, almost lead me to jump off a roof.
{{/if}}

h: Instead, the solution is to do what we're doing now not to fight, but to patiently be with each other.

b: Then they should say that instead of some problematic word like "accept".

h: Yeah come to think of it, "accept" kind of sucks.

b: I do not accept "accept".

(#act4_something_else)

act4_bad_accept_literally

b: But we already know you shouldn't take me literally!

b: The whole problem is that I want to help you, but I suck at using words to do so!

h: I think therapists mean "accept" your emotions as in: "don't fight or ignore them."

h: To listen to you, work with you, but not take what you say as 100% literal truth.

b: Then therapists should say that instead of some vague confusing word like "accept".

h: I guess they want to help, but suck at using words, too.

(#act4_something_else)

act4_something_else

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==1}}
h: Anyway, anything else you wanna chat about?
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==2}}
h: So, anything else on your heavy heart?
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_fears_discussed==3}}
(#act4_something_else_2)
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_talked_about_harm!=true}}
I'm scared we'll be harmed.
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_talked_about_alone!=true}}
I'm scared we'll be alone.
{{/if}}

{{if _.a4_talked_about_bad!=true}}
I'm scared we're bad people.
{{/if}}

Nah, I'm good for now.

act4_something_else_2

h: Okay, I think we've talked about all our fears now.

b: Yes, there are only three fears.

h: Yup, exactly three.

b: Convenient.

(#act4c)

act4c_prelude

h: Good chat, team.

(#act4c)

act4c

Game.clearText();
music(null,{fade:3});

b: ...

h: ...

b: This isn't some game, you know.

b: Building a better relationship with your emotions isn't as simple as clicking buttons on a screen.

b: Can we really get along?

b: Can we work together, as a team?

h: Well,

a: E-excuse me...

Game.clearText();
publish("smash",[3]);
publish("act4-in-2");
publish("outside-hong", ["look-back"]);
publish("al-shire", ["ask"]);
music('campus', {volume:0.5, fade:1});

(...1600)

(#act4d)

act4d

a: W-wo-would you mind if I sat with you for lunch?

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="harm"}}
s: They were sitting alone for lunch? They must be a psycho loner serial killer!
{{/if}}

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="alone"}}
s: Ack, do you know how pathetic we sound? How desperate, how needy?
{{/if}}

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="bad"}}
s: They were enjoying peace and quiet, then we interrupted them! We're such a burden!
{{/if}}

a: I- I mean- it's, it's okay if not, I just...

Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_SPEAKER = "h2"

Wait, didn't I see you at the party?

Yeah, of course! Come here.

Sorry, I need alone time right now.

act4d_recognition

{{if _.a2_ending=="fight"}}
h2: Yeah it was the first party, where I had that panic attack and punched the host!
{{/if}}

{{if _.a2_ending=="flight"}}
h2: Yeah it was the first party, where I had that panic attack and ran out crying!
{{/if}}

b: Hang on human, we might be making them uncomfortable.

h2: Ah, I don't mean to put you on the spot!

h2: Just remembering a friendly face, is all.

publish("al-shire", ["panic"]);

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="harm"}}
s: AHHHHH I KNEW IT! THEY'RE A DANGEROUS CRAZY PSYCHO!
{{/if}}

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="alone"}}
s: SEE HOW MUCH WE SUCK AT MAKING FRIENDS?! THE FIRST IMPRESSION WE MADE IS "WITNESSED MY TRAUMA". WE SUCK!
{{/if}}

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="bad"}}
s: AAAHHH WE MADE SOMEONE REMEMBER A TRAUMATIC EVENT. OUR MERE PRESENCE HURTS OTHERS.
{{/if}}

(#act4e)

act4d_yes

b: Hang on human, they seem uncomfortable.

h2: Ah, no pressure of course!

h2: Just saying, you can sit here if you want to.

publish("al-shire", ["panic"]);

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="harm"}}
s: THEY'RE BEING TOO FRIENDLY! LIKE TED BUNDY, THE SERIAL KILLER!
{{/if}}

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="alone"}}
s: THEY'RE JUST ACTING NICE. NO ONE REALLY WANTS TO BE OUR FRIEND.
{{/if}}

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="bad"}}
s: GAH, WE ALWAYS MAKE OTHERS FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE! WE'RE TERRIBLE!
{{/if}}

(#act4e)

act4d_no

b: Hang on human, we might be making them uncomfortable.

h2: Ah, I didn't mean to come off as rude!

{{if _.INJURED}}
h2: It's just that, well, I jumped off a roof and almost killed myself.
{{/if}}

{{if !_.INJURED}}
h2: It's just that, well, I almost jumped off a roof.
{{/if}}

h2: Please don't take it as a personal rejection, I just need quiet time to process some emotions.

publish("al-shire", ["panic"]);

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="harm"}}
s: HOLY COW I KNEW IT, THEY ARE A DANGEROUS PSYCHO!
{{/if}}

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="alone"}}
s: WE'VE BEEN PERSONALLY REJECTED! WE'LL NEVER BE LOVED!
{{/if}}

{{if _.TOP_FEAR=="bad"}}
s: WE INTERRUPTED SOMEONE'S EMOTIONAL PROCESSING! NOW THEY'LL BE TRAUMATIZED FOREVER AND IT'S ALL OUR FAULT!
{{/if}}

(#act4e)

act4e

s: RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

Game.clearText();
publish("al-shire", ["run"]);

(...2001)

publish("act4-out-3");

(...1001)

h: Huh. I wonder what was going on in their head.

h: Anyway, you were saying?

b: Uh, I forget? Something about teams and work?

h: (shrug)

b: They say you should "make peace" with your emotions, as if your emotions are some kind of war criminals.

b: But I want us to make more than mere peace! I want us to be allies!

b: I want to be a good guard-dog. Just like how hunger & thirst are alarms for your physical needs,

b: I want to be the alarm for your emotional needs your needs for safety, belonging, goodness.

b: But... I suck at my job, so I need you to train me.

b: Teaching an old dog new tricks will take a while. Maybe years.

b: And sometimes I'll relapse, I'll slip into my old habits.

b: I'll bark at shadows. I'll scare you with words. I might even show you some intrusive images of... things.

b: I'm sorry! I'm a battered shelter dog! Battered dogs poop on your bed sometimes!

b: But if you're patient with me... and just stay and sit with me...

b: Maybe you can tame this wolf.

Game.clearText();

(...1000)

Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_SPEAKER = "h"

Good dog. Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_SPEAKER = "h"

Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_SPEAKER = "b"

Good human. Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_SPEAKER = "b"

act4f-pat-hong

Game.clearText();
Game.FORCE_CANT_SKIP = true;
music(null,{fade:0.5});
sfx("youbothwin");

publish("end-pat", ["pat-hong-1"])

(...501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-hong-2"])

(...501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-hong-1"])

(...501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-hong-2"])

(...501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-hong-1"])

(...501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-hong-2"])

(...6501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-hong-3"])

(...1001)

(#act4f)

act4f-pat-bb

Game.clearText();
Game.FORCE_CANT_SKIP = true;
music(null,{fade:0.5});
sfx("youbothwin");

publish("end-pat", ["pat-bb-1"])

(...501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-bb-2"])

(...501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-bb-1"])

(...501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-bb-2"])

(...501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-bb-1"])

(...501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-bb-2"])

(...6501)

publish("end-pat", ["pat-bb-3"])

(...1001)

(#act4f)

act4f

Game.FORCE_CANT_SKIP = false;
publish("end-pat", ["freak-out"])

{{if _.fifteencigs}}
b: AAAAA YOU'RE STILL EATING ALONE FIFTEEN CIGARETTES AAAAA
{{/if}}

{{if _.parasite}}
b: AAAAA YOU'RE STILL NOT PRODUCTIVE WHILE EATING WE'RE PARASITES AAAAA
{{/if}}

{{if _.whitebread}}
b: AAAAA YOU'RE EATING MORE WHITE BREAD AAAAA
{{/if}}

sfx("yaps", {volume:0.6});
Game.FORCE_CANT_SKIP = true;

b: YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP

(#credits)