22 KiB
act2
SceneSetup.act2();
a: hack
(#act2-preamble-end)
{{if .badnews && !.factcheck}}
(#act2-preamble-news1)
{{/if}}
{{if _.badnews && _.factcheck}}
(#act2-preamble-news2)
{{/if}}
{{if _.catmilk}}
(#act2-preamble-cat)
{{/if}}
(#act2-preamble-tinder)
act2-preamble-news1
a: But did you see that "news story" about that horrible thing happening somewhere?
h2: h-hi...
s: God I hate the news. It's all sensationalism and clickbait.
h2: n... nice party...
a: True, but they're just following incentives. The real problem is people who click the clickbait.
a: Who would retweet a terrible news story, and make all their friends feel bad?
s: Ugh, I know right?
(#act2-preamble-end)
act2-preamble-news2
a: But did you see that "news story" going viral?
h2: h-hi...
s: Yeah, totally fake. Who would fall for that and retweet it?
h2: n... nice party...
a: Seriously dude. Like, hello, open up Google and factcheck first?
s: Ugh, I know right?
(#act2-preamble-end)
act2-preamble-cat
a: Like I was saying man, the Meme Industrial Complex exploits cats.
h2: h-hi...
s: Do elaborate on this thesis.
h2: n... nice party...
a: Well, I saw someone retweet a GIF of a cat drinking milk yesterday.
a: They can't digest that shit! Who would retweet animal abuse like that?
s: Ugh, I know right?
(#act2-preamble-end)
act2-preamble-tinder
a: So yeah they never replied back!
h2: h-hi...
s: Even though you both matched each other on Tinder?
h2: n... nice party...
{{if _.serialkiller}}
(#act2-preamble-serialkiller)
{{/if}}
{{if _.hookuphole}}
(#act2-preamble-hookuphole)
{{/if}}
{{if _.pokemon}}
(#act2-preamble-pokemon)
{{/if}}
act2-preamble-serialkiller
a: Yeah I dunno! What, did they think I was a serial killer or something? So paranoid.
s: Ugh, I know right?
(#act2-preamble-end)
act2-preamble-hookuphole
a: Yeah I dunno! Maybe they think hookups can't fill the hole in their heart?
a: Stop being such a prude! Open your mind, then your legs!
s: Ugh, I know right?
(#act2-preamble-end)
act2-preamble-pokemon
a: Yeah I dunno! They weren't that hot, but they would have been a nice catch!
a: Gotta catch 'em all!
a: But, nope, they just had to tease my genitals like that.
s: Ugh, I know right?
(#act2-preamble-end)
act2-preamble-end
Game.clearText();
publish("act2-out-1");
music(null, {fade:1});
(...3000)
music('battle', {volume:0.5});
publish("hp_show");
n: ROUND TWO: FIGHT!
Hey, let's talk about the meaning of life.
act2a_social
b: We're bringing down the mood of this party by being such a sad lump!
b: We're killing the good vibes! We're committing first-degree vibe-murder!
b: Human, we have to leave now before--
_.a2_first_danger = 'social';
_.a2_attack_1 = "alone";
(#act2b)
act2a_perv
b: They're more attractive than us, which means if we even look at them, then--
b: WE'RE CREEPS
b: We're creepy, evil, bad bad bad terrible terrible perv--
_.a2_first_danger = 'perv';
_.a2_attack_1 = "bad";
(#act2b)
act2a_meaning
b: I mean, what can we possibly do that matters in the grand scheme of things?
b: Even in the Hollywood-ending scenario, where we save humanity and the world... so what?
b: Everything dies anyway.
b: Humanity dies, the sun dies, the whole universe dies, what the heck are we supposed to--
_.a2_first_danger = 'meaning';
_.a2_attack_1 = "bad";
(#act2b)
act2b
b: ...
b: Um... can you hear me, human?
b: ...
b: GASP
b: I MUST WARN YOU ABOUT...
{{if _.a2_first_danger=="social"}}
A different social danger!
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_first_danger=="perv" || _.a2_first_danger=="meaning"}}
A different moral danger!
{{/if}}
You're ignoring danger! That's dangerous!
act2b_louder
_.a2_first_choice = "louder"
{{if _.a2_first_danger=="social"}}
(#act2b_louder_social)
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_first_danger=="perv"}}
(#act2b_louder_perv)
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_first_danger=="meaning"}}
(#act2b_louder_meaning)
{{/if}}
act2b_louder_social
b: EMOTIONS ARE CONTAGIOUS! SO IF YOU DON'T LEAVE YOU'LL INFECT EVERYONE WITH YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS!
b: You'll create a deadly outbreak of SAD LUMP SYNDROME
b: We need to get out of here and quarantine ourselves forever in a small room with Netflix and food delivery!
_.a2_second_danger = 'netflix';
_.a2_attack_2 = "alone";
(#act2c)
act2b_louder_perv
b: DON'T BE A CREEP. IT'S AGAINST THE LAW!
b: Creep Law, Section 74.5: (1) Any Person who checks out (a) that sweet booty (b) those thick thighs (2) shall be hereby referred to as
b: "A BIG DISGUSTING TRASH PERVERT"
_.a2_second_danger = 'law';
_.a2_attack_2 = "bad";
(#act2c)
act2b_louder_meaning
b: ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE THAN HAVING NO IMPACT ON HUMANITY?
b: HAVING ALL THE IMPACT ON HUMANITY.
b: Alfred Nobel wanted world peace, and for cultures to understand each other. So he decided to make travel easier.
b: So he needed a way to cheaply create train tunnels. So he invented a new material called "dynamite"...
b: which was used in World War I to KILL MILLIONS OF PEOPLE
b: IT'S THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT, HUMAN! HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU ACCIDENTALLY KILLING RIGHT NOW
_.a2_second_danger = 'butterfly';
_.a2_attack_2 = "bad";
(#act2c)
act2b_different_social
_.a2_first_choice = "different"
b: Actually, you know what's worse than no-one liking you? Everyone liking you.
b: That is, becoming one of these shallow party animals.
b: A shallow life with shallow friends who only know the shallow you!
b: Human, we need to run away from these dopamine-zombies before they turn us into one of them!
_.a2_second_danger = 'zombies';
_.a2_attack_2 = "alone";
(#act2c)
act2b_different_moral
_.a2_first_choice = "different"
b: People are dying in famines and genocides right now and we're just partying!
b: A wise person once said, "the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good folks to do nothing."
b: WE'RE DOING NOTHING.
b: BY PARTYING, WE'RE HELPING HITLER.
_.a2_second_danger = 'hitler';
_.a2_attack_2 = "bad";
(#act2c)
act2b_ignore
_.a2_first_choice = "ignore"
b: You think you're safe just because you took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector?
b: You won't even smell the poison! You'll just get sleepy and then you'll--
b: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
_.a2_second_danger = 'ignore';
_.a2_attack_2 = "harm";
(#act2c)
act2c
``hong({body:"ignore_sweat"});`
b: ...
b: Oh thank goodness human, I think you can hear me again!
b: I SHALL WARN YOU ABOUT...
{{if _.a2_first_choice=="louder"}}
The same fear, EVEN LOUDER!
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_first_choice!="louder"}}
The same fear, LOUDER!
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_first_danger=="social"}}
Another social danger!
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_first_danger=="perv" || _.a2_first_danger=="meaning"}}
Another moral danger!
{{/if}}
Did you check that punch before drinking?
#act2c_louder
{{if _.a2_second_danger=="netflix"}}
(#act2c_louder_netflix)
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_second_danger=="law"}}
(#act2c_louder_law)
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_second_danger=="butterfly"}}
(#act2c_louder_butterfly)
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_second_danger=="zombies"}}
(#act2c_louder_zombies)
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_second_danger=="hitler"}}
(#act2c_louder_hitler)
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_second_danger=="ignore"}}
(#act2c_louder_ignore)
{{/if}}
act2c_louder_netflix
b: Actually, Netflix & food delivery isn't quarantined enough! We'd still infect the delivery person!
b: We need to move to the Canadian Yukon territories, and have our food delivered by drone!
b: And then they'd have to sterilize the drone to rid it of our SAD LUMP GERMS
_.a2_first_attack = "alone";
_.a2_attack_3 = "alone";
(#act2d)
act2c_louder_law
b: The BIG DISGUSTING TRASH PERVERT shall be sentenced to 72 hours in one of those medieval public-humiliation devices
b: unless they're secretly into that sort of thing
b: in which case that further proves them being a BIG DISGUSTING TRASH PERVERT
_.a2_first_attack = "bad";
_.a2_attack_3 = "bad";
(#act2d)
act2c_louder_butterfly
b: BUTTERFLY EFFECT! You're using a non-biodegradable plastic cup?
b: BAM, A LANDFILL LEAKS POISON AND KILLS A KID
b: Remember when you said that mean thing to that stranger online?
b: BAM, THEY'RE PROBABLY SUICIDED BY NOW
_.a2_first_attack = "bad";
_.a2_attack_3 = "bad";
(#act2d)
act2c_louder_zombies
b: These popularity-zombies will stumble towards you mumbling,
b: LIIIIIKES. LIIIIIIIIIIKES.
b: And they'll bite you and turn you into a brainless bro and/or thoughtless thot!
_.a2_first_attack = "bad";
_.a2_attack_3 = "bad";
(#act2d)
act2c_louder_hitler
b: THE NAZIS ARE GOOSE-STEPPING BACK ON THE STREETS RIGHT NOW
b: And they're saying:
b: Good thing those 'good folks' slacked off with stuff like 'relaxing' and 'self-care'!
b: Now our plans can go fourth, reich on schedule!
_.a2_first_attack = "bad";
_.a2_attack_3 = "bad";
(#act2d)
act2c_louder_ignore
b: Come to think about it, do we know if this building has a monoxide detector?!
b: What if we're all being poisoned RIGHT NOW?
b: WE WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW. ONE MOMENT WE'RE HERE, NEXT MOMENT WE STOP EXISTING FOREVER AND EVER AND EV--
_.a2_first_attack = "harm";
_.a2_attack_3 = "harm";
(#act2d)
act2c_different_social
b: What if we're just fundamentally incapable of ever being loved, or loving another?
b: What if something irreversibly broke inside of us a long time ago? Or never existed in us in the first place?
b: Ahhh we're broken! We're so broken so broken so brok--
_.a2_first_attack = "alone";
_.a2_attack_3 = "alone";
(#act2d)
act2c_different_moral
b: What if we're just fundamentally rotten?
b: Others have an inner drive to do goodness, but we only do "good" out of guilt or shame, if at all.
b: What if it's in our nature to hurt others? What if we can't be anything other than a burden to those close to us?
b: Ahhh we're broken! We're so broken so broken so brok--
_.a2_first_attack = "bad";
_.a2_attack_3 = "bad";
(#act2d)
act2c_punch
b: I'm not being irrational. People do drug punch bowls. That is an actual thing that actually happens.
b: Human, is your head hurting? Do your limbs feel limp? I think we're dying. We need to call an ambulance RIGHT NOW.
b: HUMAN, WE'RE DYING. WE'RE DYING WE'RE DYING WE'RE DYI--
_.a2_first_attack = "harm";
_.a2_attack_3 = "harm";
(#act2d)
act2d
hong({body:"attacked"});
attack("20p", _.a2_attack_1);
(...401)
hong({body:"attacked"});
attack("20p", _.a2_attack_2);
(...401)
hong({body:"attacked"});
attack("20p", _.a2_attack_3);
(...1001)
h: FUCK!
h: FUCKING FUCK-FUKKITY FUUUUUCK
bb({body:"happy"})
b: Yay, human! I'm so happy you can hear me again!
bb({body:"sad"})
b: Why did you try ignoring me?
hong({body:"yell"})
h: Holy hell, you stupid sack of shit.
h: You know that Native American story?
h: "There are two wolves inside you, one is hope, one is despair, which wolf wins? The one you feed."
h: I was trying to fucking starve you, you sadistic asshole!
h: Fuck it, I'll do positive affirmations instead.
h: I am loved. I am good. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am special.
bb({body:"neutral"})
Golly, that's so narcissistic!
You know affirmations were disproven?
omg don't credit random stories to indigenous folk
act2d_disproven
b: In fact, they actually backfire for people with low self-esteem!
b: It was a well-designed study – randomized controlled trial, experimenter was blinded as to who was in which group.
b: Results: if you already had low self-esteem, being asked to repeat affirmations makes you feel worse than if you'd said nothing at all!
b: Wood et al, 2009, Psychol Sci. Look it up on Google Scholar, human,
b: THEN STOP SPREADING UNSCIENTIFIC FAKE NEWS
hong({body:"attacked"});
attack("10p", "bad");
(...2500)
(#act2e)
act2d_narcissist
b: You need to humbly see your own flaws in order to grow as a person!
b: You can't spray air freshener over a moldy room! Covering up your flaws with narcissism makes you worse in the long-run.
b: Thankfully, I, as your loyal guard-wolf, can alert you to your flaws. And right now, it's-
b: EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING IS WRONG
hong({body:"attacked"});
attack("10p", "bad");
(...2500)
(#act2e)
act2d_racist
b: Native Americans are actual people, not some "noble savages" you can namedrop to make your fortune-cookie advice more exotic.
b: You're reducing individual persons & complex cultures to a Hallmark card! That's "benevolent racism"!
b: STOP BEING RACIST YOU SQUINTY-EYED JERK
hong({body:"attacked"});
attack("10p", "bad");
(...2500)
(#act2e)
act2e
h: FUCKDAMMIT.
hong({body:"yell"})
h: You know what? You're irrational.
h: Everyone already knows emotions are irrational! Especially fear!
h: Why should I listen to a moron shitstain like you?!
b: ...
bb({body:"sad"})
...jeez human. That's really hurtful.
What about "your feelings are valid"?
We share a brain. We're equally rational.
act2e_hurtful
b: I'm part of you, you know. When you say that, you're hurting yourself.
b: Why are you hitting yourself, human? STOP HITTING YOURSELF.
music(null);
hong({body:"attacked"});
attack("10p", "harm");
(...2500)
(#act2f)
act2e_rational
b: Which means if I'm irrational, then you're irrational!
b: And if we're both so dumb and stupid, we'll never figure out how to be happy!
b: Ahhh we're so lost! So lost so lost so los--
music(null);
hong({body:"attacked"});
attack("10p", "bad");
(...2500)
(#act2f)
act2e_valid
b: Hang on... "they" say that feelings are valid, that you should always accept your emotions.
b: But "they" also say emotions are irrational, that emotions are not to be trusted.
b: Maybe "they" are just full of crud!
b: "They" are feeding us contradictions to maintain our dependency on the Self-Help Industrial Complex!
music(null);
hong({body:"attacked"});
attack("10p", "harm");
(...2500)
(#act2f)
act2f
hong({body:"cry"});
h: ...
h: I hate this. God it hurts so much I hate this.
h: I can't appease you. I can't ignore you. I can't fight you.
h: No matter what I do, I can't seem to get rid of yo--
bb({body:"yell"});
b: Well maybe you're NOT SUPPOSED TO GET RID ME.
b: How do you think I feel, human?!
bb({body:"cry"})
b: I'm trying my best to be your guard-dog, but you keep seeing me as some Big Bad Wolf!
b: So I try even harder to alert you to danger! More danger! Louder danger!
b: But no matter how hard I try to protect you, you still think I'm your enemy!
b: What am I doing wrong?!
b: I know I suck at my job. But I'm trying, human!
b: ...I'm trying.
b: You don't have to heed my warnings, or agree with me, or even like me.
b: I just... all I want is for you to be patient with me.
b: I just want for you to sit with me for a while, instead of turning away and--
publish("act2-party-action", ["twist1"]);
r: Hey.
Game.clearText();
publish("act2-in-2");
publish("hp_hide");
music('party1', {volume:0.4, fade:2});
(...2000)
r: Looks like you're caught in a fight with yourself, kid.
publish("act2-party-action", ["twist2"]);
h2: Was it that obvious?
r: You were, uh, mumbling at your hoodie.
h2: oh god i'm such a mess.
r: Hey. You're not alone, friend. Anxiety's super common.
{{if _.act1_ending=="fight"}}
r: Heck, just yesterday, I heard someone on campus had a nervous breakdown and smashed their phone!
{{/if}}
{{if _.act1_ending=="flight"}}
r: Heck, just yesterday, I heard someone curled up into an armadillo ball and cried in public!
{{/if}}
r: Listen: I know what it's like to have that animal in your head.
r: We all do. That's why we're here! I throw these parties every weekend so we can forget our worries, forget that animal.
h2: but my anxiety...
r: Don't worry, kid. I used to be like you. But then I found a little trick to get that negative voice to shut up forever...
Game.clearText();
music(null, {fade:1});
(...2000)
publish("act2-party-action", ["twist3"]);
sfx("rustle");
(...2500)
publish("act2-party-action", ["twist4"]);
(...1000)
r: My own specialty blend. It's a mix of... well, everything.
r: Bottoms up, motherfucker.
hong({body:"hold_alcohol"});
bb({body:"shock"});
Game.clearText();
publish("act2-out-3");
publish("hp_show");
(...3500)
Oh my God. Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
This is a bad coping mechanism. Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
Don't take drinks from strangers. Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
act2g_1
b: O--
(#act2g)
act2g_2
b: T--
(#act2g)
act2g_3
b: D--
(#act2g)
act2g
hong({body:"drinking"});
bb({body:"attacked"});
attackBB("40p", "harm");
(...2000)
hong({body:"drunk"});
bb({body:"pained"});
h: Mmm, what an exquisite palette!
h: A full-bodied flavor of "shut your mind up", with a subtle aftertaste of "never feel anything ever again"!
b: This is bad, human. This is really, really bad.
This is actually how addiction starts. Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
I knew the host was deeply messed up! Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
Also, they could have drugged that! Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
act2h_opt1
b: This is actu--
(#act2h)
act2h_opt2
b: Also, they co--
(#act2h)
act2h_opt3
b: I knew th--
(#act2h)
act2h
hong({body:"drinking"});
bb({body:"attacked"});
attackBB("40p", "harm");
(...2000)
hong({body:"drunk"});
bb({body:"pained"});
h: Delicious, and cheaper than therapy!
b: HUMAN PLEASE STOP
h: Hehehe!
h: And what are you gonna do about it, asshole?
b: I'm so sorry, human.
b: I'm going to have to use my SPECIAL ATTACK
music('battle', {volume:0.5});
🗡 _.SPECIAL_ATTACK="harm"; Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
💔 _.SPECIAL_ATTACK="alone"; Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
👿 _.SPECIAL_ATTACK="bad"; Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
act2h_attack
bb({body:"special_1"})
h: What's this crap?
h: You're gonna yap more stupid words at me again to try t--
bb({body:"special_2"});
sfx("hadouken");
(...901)
(#act2i)
act2i
publish("show_special_attack");
Game.FORCE_CANT_SKIP = true;
music(null);
stopAllSounds();
(...5000)
publish("remove_special_attack");
hong({body:"defeated"});
bb({body:"sad"});
attack("100p", _.SPECIAL_ATTACK);
Game.FORCE_CANT_SKIP = false;
(...2500)
h: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT
b: I'm sorry. I needed to show you the consequences.
{{if _.SPECIAL_ATTACK=="harm"}}
h: I COULD SEE MY OWN CORPSE. I COULD FEEL THE SENSATION OF BEING ACTUALLY DEAD.
{{/if}}
{{if _.SPECIAL_ATTACK=="alone"}}
h: I COULD SEE EVERYONE'S LOOK OF DISGUST. I COULD HEAR ALL THE THINGS THEY SAID.
{{/if}}
{{if _.SPECIAL_ATTACK=="bad"}}
h: I COULD HEAR THE CRUNCHING OF RIBS. I COULD TASTE THE BLOOD IN THE AIR.
{{/if}}
b: I'm sorry, human.
n: FINISH THEM
{FIGHT: Punch the host.} Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
{FLIGHT: Let's get out of here.} Game.OVERRIDE_CHOICE_LINE=true
act2j_fight
b: That psychopath was taking advantage of you.
b: They were trying to corrupt you, make you as messed up as they are!
b: Punch that jerk! Knock their friggin' lights out!
bb({body:"yell"})
b: PUNCH THEM PUNCH THEM PUNCH THEM PUNCH THEM PUNCH THEM PUNCH THEM PUNCH THEM PUNCH THE--
_.a2_ending = "fight";
(#act2k)
act2j_flight
b: I knew all these partygoers were deeply messed up. They all dull their pain with horrible things!
b: And they're tricking you into doing the same thing! They're corrupting you! We need to get out!
bb({body:"yell"})
b: GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OU--
_.a2_ending = "flight";
(#act2k)
act2k
Game.clearText();
publish("act2-in-4");
publish("hp_hide");
publish("act2-party-action", ["end"]);
music('party1', {volume:0.6, fade:1.5});
(...2000)
r: You alright, kid?
{{if _.a2_ending=="fight"}}
(#act2k_fight)
{{/if}}
{{if _.a2_ending=="flight"}}
(#act2k_flight)
{{/if}}
act2k_fight
Game.clearText();
publish("act2-party-action", ["end_slap1"]);
music(null);
sfx("hit");
(...1000)
sfx("record_scratch");
publish("act2-party-action", ["end_slap2"]);
r: Y-you...
publish("act2-party-action", ["end_slap3"]);
music('party1', {volume:0.6, fade:6});
r: are kinky.
r: I like that. Come to my party next weekend, cutie.
publish("act2-party-action", ["end_run"]);
h2: ok bye ciao adios
r: The animal might have won today, but come back, and I'll mix something even stronger for you!
h2: au revoir sayōnara auf wiedersehen zài jiàn
r: You and me, kid, we'll show that beast who's boss!
(#act2k_end)
act2k_flight
h2: ok sorry i have to run
r: Damn it. The animal won today, huh?
h2: no no, just, uh, gotta run a marathon. gotta go fast.
r: Come to my party next weekend, cutie. I'll mix something even stronger for you.
publish("act2-party-action", ["end_run"]);
h2: ok thanks gonna run run run run run
r: You and me, kid, we'll show that beast who's boss!
(#act2k_end)
act2k_end
Game.clearText();
publish("act2-out-5");
publish("act2-outro", ["end1"]);
music("hum", {fade:2, volume:0.6});
(...2500)
publish("act2-outro", ["end2"]);
sfx("whoosh");
(...1000)
b: Human! Are you okay?!
b: Gosh, that was close. We really could've--
Game.clearText();
publish("act2-outro", ["end3"]);
music(null);
sfx("squeak");
(...1500)
publish("act2-outro", ["end4"]);
sfx("hit");
(...1000)
h: I'm going to the party next weekend.
h: The next time we fight, I'm not just going to defeat you...
h: I'm going to fucking kill you.
Game.clearText();
publish("act2-outro", ["end5"]);
sfx("grass_step1");
(...901)
sfx("grass_step2", {volume:0.8});
publish("act2-outro", ["end6"]);
(...901)
sfx("grass_step1", {volume:0.5});
(...901)
sfx("grass_step2", {volume:0.25});
(...3000)
_.INTERMISSION_STAGE = 2;
(#intermission)